Approaching Waves

Waves.  Sudden, surging, progressing movements.  Mothering sometimes feels like an ocean to me.  We have times when things are calm and peaceful.  The kids behave the way I expect them to behave.  Things are under control.  And then often out of nowhere, something suddenly changes.  Someone is sick or hurt.  Someone used ugly words at someone else.  Someone broke something.  Someone hurt someone.

Waves.  Tricky to navigate, right?  Possible danger or disaster with each sudden blow?    But if I know they are coming, because they always do eventually come, I need to figure out how I’m going to approach them.  Because I don’t like the waves.  I prefer the peace and calm.  I prefer when my kids make good choices and no one needs to see a doctor.  I prefer things to go smoothly and easily.  But we are talking about real live kids and real life and sometimes REAL is not smooth and easy.  Some people are really good with waves.  Those go-with-the-flow, easy-going people that don’t really get bothered about much…I married one, but I am not one of them.  When waves approach I get all flustered, overwhelmed, stressed out and crazy-like.  I wish I was a go-with-the-flow mom, but I am more of the oh-shoot-that-didn’t-go-as-planned-and-now-what?! type of mom.  Anyone else?  I don’t like that about myself and I really believe my response to the waves can have an effect on how disastrous they end up being.  Can I respond in a way that will lessen the blow?  I think so, but I need a game plan.  And I need it now, more than ever because my oldest kiddo has just one more day of kindergarten!

first day of kindergarten

nearly a first grader

Did you hear that?  My oldest is nearly done with kindergarten!  For the past nine months, for about 32 hours each week I have been down to just two kids under my immediate watch.  Not only that, but for about 32 hours each week, someone else was in charge of managing Mackenna’s type 1 diabetes (which I sometimes refer to as my fourth child).  I am just one day away from having all three of my “crazies” home with me all day again.  And I have mixed feelings about that.  Is that bad?  I am SO SO SO excited to have more time with my girl; that is the absolute truth.  I cannot wait to play more with her, read more with her, relax more with her.  But I am also nervous about being outnumbered three-to-one again…for a lot of weeks!  Going from two crazies to three plus a relentless chronic disease to manage for 32 hours per week more than I’m used to is a big difference!  There. will. be. more. waves.  I know that.  And I’ve been a little nervous, wondering how I’m going to manage that many weeks with all 4 of them and the inevitable waves. I knew I needed a game plan.  And on Sunday morning, I think a game plan found me.

Have you heard the song Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United?  If not, please take a minute to pop over and listen to its beautiful lyrics: (click here).  I have listened to this song many many times.  It is not new to me.  I love when God makes something old seem brand new and that’s sort of what He did for me at church on Sunday when we sang this song.  I saw these words on the screen “I will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves” and as I sang them, they felt new.  What if it’s really that beautifully simple?  To navigate life’s waves, I simply need to call on Jesus, maybe literally call/whisper/sing out his name to help me keep my focus above the waves.  Focusing on the big picture: these kids are blessings, I am the perfect mom for them, Jesus LOVES us and has grace to fill in the gaps when I mess up as a mother…Focusing on that instead of the waves.  Because the juice will get spilled.  They will get hurt.  They will act up in Target.  The blood sugar will seem uncontrollable.  They will argue.  They will break things.  And I am going to keep my eyes above all that…to focus on God’s love for me and for them…and maybe the waves will seem a bit smaller.

How do you approach the waves?