Why I didn’t want to start this blog

You read that title correctly.  I have a few pretty good reasons why I didn’t want to start this blog.  And just one reason why I did.

1) Why add more to an already pretty full plate?  Mothering is a full time job.  I have days when I wake up and don’t sit down again until my little guy is napping after lunch!  My plate also holds a small photography business which I love and am not ready to dump off the plate.  And in case you don’t live with type 1 diabetes, I can assure you that acting as my daughter’s pancreas is yet another full time job.  Adding a blog to this already full plate seemed like an unintelligent choice.  In fact, I was a little bit afraid to share my dream for this blog with my parents because I knew their first thoughts would be out of concern for me…I knew they might question whether or not it would be too much to take on at this time in my young family’s life.  And their concerns would have been perfectly legitimate.  (By the way, if they did have a concern of this type, they did not share it with me.)

2) Who am I to be writing about big things that matter?  Motherhood, faith, living with a chronic disease… Those are big things that actually matter to a lot of people.  And while I have a few things to say about each of them, I am no expert.  I’m not sure anything I have to say will contain any amount of wisdom worth reading.  I’m mostly just trying to figure it all out for myself anyway.  Motherhood…super crazy hard and I could easily share with you how I mess up with my kids on a daily basis.  Faith…I wish I could tell you that I’m a super disciplined person and spend lots of time with God each day, but I’d be lying.  Living with diabetes…Oh boy.  I do my best each day to manage the physical and emotional aspects of my kiddo’s diabetes and sometimes we win and sometimes we don’t.  If you are looking for expert advice, you have stumbled upon the wrong blog.

3) Can I even live up to the mission of this blog myself?  While I desire to focus on the joy before me on a daily basis, I don’t always succeed.  If I just wrote all of this in a journal that no one else ever read, then no one could judge me when I messed up.  (Notice I said, “when” I messed up and not “if” I messed up.)  This blog is as much for me as anyone else.  I need to hear the message loudly and be reminded often.

Pretty good reasons, rights?  Would you believe there really is only one reason why I did take the plunge and launch this public blog?  Because I believe God asked me to.  That’s it.  I felt it in my heart.  And God used my people to affirm me in the process.  Justin has been my biggest supporter.  He’s been an ear and a voice to every decision made along the way.  In times of doubt, he’s helped me discern truth from fear.  My best friends have been my biggest cheerleaders, encouraging throughout the process and rejoicing as they have seen  a dream become reality.  Even the fact that my parents didn’t voice any concern they may have had about an overly full plate seems to me like the Lord not letting even good intentions get in the way of His plan.  The support of my people has been so precious to me.  But the overwhelming peace despite my three great reasons why NOT to start this blog was reason enough to start it anyway.

Maybe God’s asking you to start a blog, or maybe not.  Maybe God’s asking you to join in on The Joy Before Me Challenge, maybe not.  Maybe God’s asking you to have a hard conversation with someone you love.  Maybe God’s asking you to befriend someone.  Maybe God’s asking you to rest and be still.  Maybe God’s asking you to pour more into your husband, your kids, your parents.  Maybe God’s asking you to pick up your Bible again, pray again, go to church again.  My non-expert advice: Listen.  And then trust.  And obey.

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